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Archive for December, 2009

Suits You Sir: The Preliminary Verdict!

Thursday, December 24th, 2009

Ladies and Gentlemen, Boys and Girls, Squirrels and Badgers… Gather round one and all while I end the suspense.

For it has arrived!

Yes, Father Christmas has delivered my present one day early thanks to the Teutonic efficiency of DHL, and I have my suit.

I will update this post more at a later date, but as I’ve left ebay feedback referring people to this site for a full review I though I should at least give a preliminary assessment. In due course, there will be photos and more info. You’ll have to wait though, as I have a few more pressing things to sort out.

But I digress. The jury is back, and the foreman is asked for the virdict:

The suit is an absolute winner.


Suits You Sir: Drawing to a thrilling climax!

Wednesday, December 23rd, 2009

Dear all,

For a little while now, I have been awaiting delivery of my bespoke suit from those lovely people at bespokeway. Indeed one of you charming individuals has found the site presumably by doing a google search for that company, to see if they are actually any good.

I feel like I’m on Watchdog or something, giving consumer advice about dodgy kettles.

Anyway, the latest info I have is that my suit is in the country. More accurately, it’s at a DHL depot near Manchester and would be with me now had Jack Frost not monumentally spaffed over the road network.

I got a nice-ish email updating me about this on Monday (when the shipping log actually shows it arrived at UK customs):


Smoking Monkey’s Guide to Self Defence, or Why Munir Hussain Should be in Prison!

Tuesday, December 22nd, 2009
Smoking Chuck Norris Monkeys.co.uk

Dear readers,

Firstly, allow me to make yet another apology for the huge gap since my last post. Yes, I know I’ve actually missed an entire horoscope. I hope each of you did the only sensible thing possible in the circumstance and didn’t leave your house in case destiny was planning to violently offend you the second you stepped through your door.

It was the only option.

Anyway, I have been very busy, very stressed, and much as I enjoy writing for you dear people it would possibly have killed me.

So what is it that has stirred my mind and dragged me away from the unending tide of shite that fills my desk/bag/brain on a daily basis? Well it’s an old thing that I used to explain to people over and over on MSN messageboards when I could be bothered to irritate and undermine the other opinionated tosspots who bothered with those sites.