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Archive for the ‘Daily life’ Category

Smoking Monkey's Guide to Suspended Sentences, or Why Melissa Massey Shouldn't be in Prison

Sunday, May 30th, 2010
Smoking

Ok, so some readers may understand there’s more to this story than first meats the eye… at least why I’m blogging about it. If you aren’t one of the select few who knows, don’t worry as you’re not missing out on anything that thrilling.

I would like, if I may, to offer a little more insight into a story that has been in the Manchester Evening News 3 times in the last week, as well as attracting compassionate and supportive commentary from the bigots who read the Daily Mail. The case involves a 20 year old student called Melissa Massey, who had assaulted a paramedic treating her after a pissed-up New Years Eve in Manchester.


SmokingMonkey lays the smack down

Sunday, May 16th, 2010
Smoking Monkeys

Right, so let’s get back into the delights of blogging with something light-hearted and avoid the controversy we had with Um Bongo shall we? How are we all doing for Class A drugs?

For the record I am not endorsing, recommending, or condoning drug use at all. If you want to drink, smoke, snort, inject or otherwise ingest chemicals that alter your mood and physiological wellbeing, that’s your decision. All I ask is that you do it in an informed manner, and don’t come crying to me if you end up being used on the front page of the Daily Mail as a warning to others about the risks of your chosen poison.


Suits You Sir! An Update

Tuesday, November 24th, 2009
SmokingMonkeys.co.uk

Time for a quik suit update. I’m sure you’re dying to know the latest, and it’s a quick way of doing a post to remind you all I’m not dead.

So after the lengthy ordering process, and the even more lengthy measurement debacle, I sent a stack of messages to the lovely people at bespokeway asking them to provide an updated ebay invoice for my optional extras.

And I waited.

And I sent 3 messages on ebay and another 2 emails.


Oh! Suits You Sir: Genesis

Sunday, November 15th, 2009
SmokingMonkeys.co.uk

Much grovelling and apologies for the delay in writing anything for almost a month. Due to assorted issues, problems, and pains in the arse, I’ve been unable to get my brain into blogging mode. As always I beg your forgiveness, and hope not to leave you bereft of my thoughts for so long again.

The good news is that I have a few embryonic post ideas, so when things are a little more settled I’ll be bombarding you with tirades of random crap like a chimp flinging shit in the zoo.


Number 50- Words of wisdom, and a few too many sherbets

Saturday, October 17th, 2009
Smoking Monkeys.co.uk

Something a little different today, as it’s been a long week full of thrills, spills, and indeed spectacular triumphs over Greater Manchester Police who single handedly failed to get my client convicted. Oh yes, can’t beat it when a bench of Magistrates don’t believe the evidence of 5 police officers! Given that they didn’t believe my client either (as the dopey little twerp had managed to completely change his story between 9am and 12), I’m afraid that I really must take the credit.

I’m sorry, there is no other explanation. Fact.