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Archive for the ‘Featured’ Category

Smoking Monkey's Guide to Suspended Sentences, or Why Melissa Massey Shouldn't be in Prison

Sunday, May 30th, 2010
Smoking

Ok, so some readers may understand there’s more to this story than first meats the eye… at least why I’m blogging about it. If you aren’t one of the select few who knows, don’t worry as you’re not missing out on anything that thrilling.

I would like, if I may, to offer a little more insight into a story that has been in the Manchester Evening News 3 times in the last week, as well as attracting compassionate and supportive commentary from the bigots who read the Daily Mail. The case involves a 20 year old student called Melissa Massey, who had assaulted a paramedic treating her after a pissed-up New Years Eve in Manchester.


SmokingMonkey lays the smack down

Sunday, May 16th, 2010
Smoking Monkeys

Right, so let’s get back into the delights of blogging with something light-hearted and avoid the controversy we had with Um Bongo shall we? How are we all doing for Class A drugs?

For the record I am not endorsing, recommending, or condoning drug use at all. If you want to drink, smoke, snort, inject or otherwise ingest chemicals that alter your mood and physiological wellbeing, that’s your decision. All I ask is that you do it in an informed manner, and don’t come crying to me if you end up being used on the front page of the Daily Mail as a warning to others about the risks of your chosen poison.


Suits You Sir: The Preliminary Verdict!

Thursday, December 24th, 2009

Ladies and Gentlemen, Boys and Girls, Squirrels and Badgers… Gather round one and all while I end the suspense.

For it has arrived!

Yes, Father Christmas has delivered my present one day early thanks to the Teutonic efficiency of DHL, and I have my suit.

I will update this post more at a later date, but as I’ve left ebay feedback referring people to this site for a full review I though I should at least give a preliminary assessment. In due course, there will be photos and more info. You’ll have to wait though, as I have a few more pressing things to sort out.


Suits You Sir: Drawing to a thrilling climax!

Wednesday, December 23rd, 2009

Dear all,

For a little while now, I have been awaiting delivery of my bespoke suit from those lovely people at bespokeway. Indeed one of you charming individuals has found the site presumably by doing a google search for that company, to see if they are actually any good.

I feel like I’m on Watchdog or something, giving consumer advice about dodgy kettles.

Anyway, the latest info I have is that my suit is in the country. More accurately, it’s at a DHL depot near Manchester and would be with me now had Jack Frost not monumentally spaffed over the road network.


Smoking Monkey Presents : A Beginners Guide to Linkin Park

Monday, September 21st, 2009
Smoking Monkeys.co.uk

Now never let it be said that the Smoking Monkey is not in touch with the modern culture of the streets (for I be down wit da kids), nor that I pander to the whims of certain areas of the internet browsing community. It should therefore not cause any disruption if I were to randomly point out that my favourite member of popular musical ensemble Linkin Park is one Michael Shinoda.