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Archive for the ‘Rants’ Category

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What is the point of Jamie Oliver?

Sunday, February 25th, 2007
smoking monkeys blog

This is a DEFINITE rant, and possibly one of reasons I set this blog up in the first place.

Jamie Oliver, by way of introduction, is a chef. If only that was where it ended, we wouldn’t care and I wouldn’t have a desire to decapitate some tosspott from Essex.

He came to fame after working in the River Cafe, a place I have never been to and expect I will never be able to afford to go to. At this stage, he wasn’t interfering with the television schedules, so my vendetta was non-existent.  Read more... (684 words, estimated 2:44 mins reading time)

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Bonus Blog… no extra charge!

Monday, January 29th, 2007
smoking monkeys blog

TV time… and Derek Acorah is on Most Haunted.

Tosser.

He has just been posessed, and re-enacted the ghost sustaining a stomach injury in the course of a play. He flounced round the stage, as if fencing (more accurately, as if fencing with a feather duster in gay cabaret), before acting as if he’d just been run through (again, possibly by a feather duster etc). The Ghost told him, via Sam the ethiopian spirit guide of course, that he lost his life in the theatre. The caption at the bottom of the screen confirmed that the actor with the similar name to the ghost identified actually died in hospital 4 weeks later. Still, not bad for a first stab (apologies for the pun)  Read more... (425 words, estimated 1:42 mins reading time)

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Coronation Street

Sunday, January 28th, 2007
smoking monkeys blog

Time for the start of what may turn out to be a very lengthy rant.

In Coronation Street.. possibly the only decent soap in the UK as it’s based in Manchester… we are building up for a murder trial. The portrayal of criminal lawyers on TV is one of my favourite things. It helps to remind myself the meaning of the word “fiction”.

I have to admit, I am often so bad when watching legal dramas that I have been officially banned from watching the likes of Judge John Deed. Mainly because it’s shit, but also because I have been known to throw things at the TV when he’s on.  Read more... (558 words, estimated 2:14 mins reading time)

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Road to nowhere

Sunday, January 21st, 2007
smoking monkeys blog

I have already established that we live in Leicester. A joy and pleasure every day. However, I should explain that TS works in Coventry. For those who may not know about these things, Coventry is about 25 miles away from Leicester, and has a similar quality of football team.

I will admit from the outset that I dont know that much about Coventry city centre. I may be changing this though, as it looks promising that I will be working there for a period.  Read more... (1049 words, estimated 4:12 mins reading time)

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A message from the other side…

Monday, January 15th, 2007
smoking monkeys blog

… DEREK ACORAH’S A BULLSHIT ARTIST

Sorry. I don’t know where that came from- I must have been posessed.

Medium. Spiritualist. Charlatan. Fraud. Thief. Manipulator. Can we see any thread to link these words together?

Just in case you have not worked it out yet, I am a bit of a sceptic about the ability of certain people to communicate with the dead. This scepticism comes from the fact that the claim is absolute shite, and is a method of extracting money from people’s need for comfort following the loss of a loved one.  Read more... (656 words, estimated 2:37 mins reading time)

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