OK, confession time. Last night Techno Scouse caught me watching something i shouldn’t have been on TV. It involved a group of hot teens, and plenty of big naked boobs. Obviously I know these programmes are on TV most nights, but they’re always trashy pieces of crap that fill schedules. I guess I just had a moment of weakness and got found out. She’s forgiven me, but I still feel a real sense of shame and embarassment.
TV time… and Derek Acorah is on Most Haunted.
Tosser.
He has just been posessed, and re-enacted the ghost sustaining a stomach injury in the course of a play. He flounced round the stage, as if fencing (more accurately, as if fencing with a feather duster in gay cabaret), before acting as if he’d just been run through (again, possibly by a feather duster etc). The Ghost told him, via Sam the ethiopian spirit guide of course, that he lost his life in the theatre. The caption at the bottom of the screen confirmed that the actor with the similar name to the ghost identified actually died in hospital 4 weeks later. Still, not bad for a first stab (apologies for the pun)
Today, my ever-loving Techno Scouse staggered out of work with her sparkly new Alienware laptop. Ever since I have known TS, Alienware has been equated with the Holy Grail filled with a combination of the elixer of eternal youth and a cure for the common cold. She has now got one, courtesy of her extremely generous company bonus scheme so life is good.
What was strange, however, was the thing she was actually excited about. On the way home, she turned to me, with big wide-eyed joy and said “Guess what’s happening a week on Thursday?”
Time for the start of what may turn out to be a very lengthy rant.
In Coronation Street.. possibly the only decent soap in the UK as it’s based in Manchester… we are building up for a murder trial. The portrayal of criminal lawyers on TV is one of my favourite things. It helps to remind myself the meaning of the word “fiction”.
I have to admit, I am often so bad when watching legal dramas that I have been officially banned from watching the likes of Judge John Deed. Mainly because it’s shit, but also because I have been known to throw things at the TV when he’s on.
I have seen the finest example of an alternative to this rat race we call modern life… that example, is Ray Mears.
For those of you who have no idea who i am talking about, Mears is a softly spoken chap, commonly seen wearing assorted shades of khahi green in forests around the world. Quite simply he is the finest thing on BBC 2 (apologies to anyone outside the UK… you have no idea what you’re missing)