rss feed - follow SM posts via your news feed for free!

Posts Tagged ‘Celebrity Horoscopes’

Arse-trology for November: One for the Scorpios

Wednesday, October 21st, 2009
Smoking Monkeys.co.uk

Ah yes, the 22nd means a change in the astrological landscape, as Libra subsides to Scorpio. This may mean something to lesser future-tellers, but not to me. I am wise and experienced enough to know, however, that all it means is that an army of scorpions are making their way through space with plans to devour our Sun. nothing major.

Anyway, back to the future:

scorpio1

Scorpio: This month the Mystical Smoking Monkey has had a trip to Whittards, and bought some lovely loose-leaf tea. Never one to miss out on a spot of tasseography, I have read the tea leaves to decipher what lies in store for all you adorable little scorpions.


October's Arse-trology Charts

Saturday, October 10th, 2009
Smoking Monkeys.co.uk

Dear reader, prepared to be astounded and astonished as the Smoking Monkey demonstrates yet another gift in his seemingly endless array of talents and abilities. After years of extensive training at the hands of eastern mystics, and also unravelling the mysteries of one of Russel Grant’s jumpers (and that’s a lot of wool), I have mastered the arts of interpreting the stars to predict the future.