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Posts Tagged ‘Muffin Top’

Forget Analytics, some of you need professional analysis!

Saturday, May 9th, 2009
Smoking Monkeys Blog

There are many times that TechnoScouse will begin to talk about things, and I’ll just switch off. Updating me on what has (or usually hasn’t) happened in The Hills for example, or why it’s necessary to buy whitening toothpaste and new shampoo every week. When she begins in her dulcet tones, I resign myself to making appropriate noises to show that I’m not ignoring her and just hope there isn’t a test at the end.


Return of the Macc

Saturday, January 19th, 2008
smoking monkeys blog

A few weeks ago, TS and I returned to the dark satanic mills of the Glorious North (TM) for a weekend of Sky TV and my Mum’s cooking. Oh, and obviously to see how my Dad is and other considerate stuff like that.

So after a night in a ridiculously over-sized bed, in which it’s actually possible to lose TS if I’m lucky, we made our habitual trip to the Trafford Centre. For those unfamiliar with Manchester and it’s landmarks, Trafford Centre is a giant shopping mall (using American terminology for those who require it) to the west of the city. It combines well-lit glass domes, with some hints of classical Roman architecture. In other words, it’s brilliantly tacky. A recent extension near the food court has the ugliest attempt at marble imaginable! We love it.


The time has come for a bit of a clear out

Tuesday, January 8th, 2008
smoking monkeys blog

Like many people, I have viewed the new year as an opportunity to get rid of a few unnecessary thing and focus on better, more efficient living. In my case, the things I am aiming to rid myself of are love-handles, a few pounds of pure blubber, and the inability to get into some of my suits.


Lord of the Pies

Sunday, December 30th, 2007
smoking monkeys blog

OK, confession time. Last night Techno Scouse caught me watching something i shouldn’t have been on TV. It involved a group of hot teens, and plenty of big naked boobs. Obviously I know these programmes are on TV most nights, but they’re always trashy pieces of crap that fill schedules. I guess I just had a moment of weakness and got found out. She’s forgiven me, but I still feel a real sense of shame and embarassment.