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Posts Tagged ‘People are idiots’

Smoking Monkey's Guide to Suspended Sentences, or Why Melissa Massey Shouldn't be in Prison

Sunday, May 30th, 2010
Smoking

Ok, so some readers may understand there’s more to this story than first meats the eye… at least why I’m blogging about it. If you aren’t one of the select few who knows, don’t worry as you’re not missing out on anything that thrilling.

I would like, if I may, to offer a little more insight into a story that has been in the Manchester Evening News 3 times in the last week, as well as attracting compassionate and supportive commentary from the bigots who read the Daily Mail. The case involves a 20 year old student called Melissa Massey, who had assaulted a paramedic treating her after a pissed-up New Years Eve in Manchester.


SmokingMonkey lays the smack down

Sunday, May 16th, 2010
Smoking Monkeys

Right, so let’s get back into the delights of blogging with something light-hearted and avoid the controversy we had with Um Bongo shall we? How are we all doing for Class A drugs?

For the record I am not endorsing, recommending, or condoning drug use at all. If you want to drink, smoke, snort, inject or otherwise ingest chemicals that alter your mood and physiological wellbeing, that’s your decision. All I ask is that you do it in an informed manner, and don’t come crying to me if you end up being used on the front page of the Daily Mail as a warning to others about the risks of your chosen poison.


Smoking Monkey's Guide to Self Defence, or Why Munir Hussain Should be in Prison!

Tuesday, December 22nd, 2009
Smoking Chuck Norris Monkeys.co.uk

Dear readers,

Firstly, allow me to make yet another apology for the huge gap since my last post. Yes, I know I’ve actually missed an entire horoscope. I hope each of you did the only sensible thing possible in the circumstance and didn’t leave your house in case destiny was planning to violently offend you the second you stepped through your door.

It was the only option.

Anyway, I have been very busy, very stressed, and much as I enjoy writing for you dear people it would possibly have killed me.


Things that go Tump in the night

Monday, May 25th, 2009
Smoking Monkeys Blog

Imagine the scenario: You’re a dejected TV executive desperate to come up with an idea for a new series. You work for E! Entertainment Network, so no-one’s really looking for War & Peace, but the pressure is still on. You sit down in front of the box to try and find inspiration, perhaps partake in a drink or other substance to get the creative juices flowing. Unfortunately, you over-do it and awake the next day with no idea where the last 8 hours went, and simply grab the stacks of papers that have materialised overnight.


Here is the news… of sorts

Sunday, January 18th, 2009
smoking monkeys blog

Still buzzing with rediscovered for the art of blogging, I thought I would go to the tried and tested review of today’s papers. I then had a scout around, and thought it far better to review just one paper’s output for the day. I may even make this a regular thing, rotating between the finest publications of du jour (as they probably miss-spell in France).

This week, I am proud to be reviewing the Mail on Sunday. By way of introduction, its probably fair to say that the Mail tends to have a pro-Conservative/anti-Labour flavour… all with fervent support of what makes Britain Great (and loathing for anything that could in any way undermine it).