The good news is that I have a few embryonic post ideas, so when things are a little more settled I’ll be bombarding you with tirades of random crap like a chimp flinging shit in the zoo.

For today though, I thought I would set out the grounding for a future post. I have found, courtesy of ebay, what claims to be a ridiculously cheap website for the sale of besoke suits. I make it clear, this is not an endorsement or a criticism yet. Only time will tell which way the wind will blow, and I am hoping that given the high turnover of readers of this site I could be the making or breaking of this particular site.

While I am determined never to be a slave to fashion, or even a servant to style, I do know what I like clothing wise and what I tend to look good(ish) in. By and large, I look good in suits. This is a bonus considering I spend at least 5 days a week suited and booted for work.

However, it has been a lifelong ambition (well, not lifelong but quite a while) to have a bespoke suit rather than the off the peg items you find in Next or Burtons. While there’s nothing necessarily wrong with these shops, the suits can be a bit samey and lack any elements of personalisation. There are options out there for bespoke suits but sadly they cost massive amounts of cash that I simply can never hope to afford. Therefore, this could be the way forward.

The site in question is BespokeWay which looks like it could be a perfect budget way to have a suit made to measure to your own design specifications. Now obviously I’m not expecting Saville Row quality, and there is a relatively limited selection of colours and materials. However, the design process does let me choose colour, lining, and a lot of little details of my suit. There aren’t many other things I would like to add at this stage so it’s worth a bit of a punt.

There is a risk, and this is based on the feedback on ebay, that I will get a crumpled bundle of  a suit turned into an origami frog. Alternatively it will look like some cheap polyester monstrosity that makes me look like a model in a 1976 Freeman’s Catalogue.

To negate the idea of wasting money, this will also be my Christmas present. The shipping time means that (subject to Royal Mail not going back on strike like petulent toddlers) I will be looking like the Pimp Chimp in time for the festivities. If the suit’s crap though, I will go on a Godzilla-style rampage and you can all watch the live footage of the hostage scenario unfolding on Sky News. Imagine the site of a man with the worst crumpled suit, standing atop Manchester Town Hall, threatening to jump unless someone with a Corby Trouser Press sorts out his waistcoat by noon. It’ll be beautiful.

I can tell that each of you is already dying to know what options I am going for. Well, if all goes to plan I will receive a charcoal grey 3 piece suit with purple lining (well it has to be done). The jacket will be 2 button with peak lapels, external ticket pocket, and opening cuff-buttons; the waistcoat will be 5 button with notch lapels, and 4 pockets; while the trousers will have waist adjusters and no belt loops.

Now I’m off to the bedroom with a tape-measure to note down my dimensions. There’s a first time for everything!